Loco? I'll show ya Loco

Apparently everyone and their mother is claiming the right to put their own little label on me. Lately, the most popular one is 'Crazy'. Lets get down to business for just a minute>>Adjective definition 1: mentally deranged, esp. as manifested in a wild or aggressive way hmmm... Adjective definition 2: extremely annoyed or angry uhuhhh... Adjective definition 3: extremely enthusiastic i see... Adjective definition 4(at an angle)<whatever that means: appearing absurdly out of place or in an unlikely position ehhh...Lets see it as a noun: A mentally deranged person ohh danng... Being that I don't "describe anything" except for myself, it is obvious that I am under the category of "person, place, or thing" leading me to conclude that I am a mentally deranged person according to your Mother, her friend and her friend's nephew.

I don't appreciate these comments, nor will I ever invite them. I should punch your Mother's friend's nephew in the head for thinking such things. However, that would further certify that I am just a crazy. Runnin' around without any plans or worries. Inhibitions to the wind and irresponsible at best. 

So I keep my cool when I am threatened with those nasty words full of jealousy and hate. Those words are jealous of my ability to chase my dreams and live a life the way I actually want to. A life that I will later look back on and say "Hey that was fun, lets do it again". I'm not a fan of procrastinating, not a fan of settling either. I don't settle for less and won't procrastinate until the timing seems right. Oh by the way, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret ///the timing is never right\\\ Nope, never. It is never okay with the world and it is never right to go after exactly what YOU ((WHY OH U)) want when you want. And not only do you necessarily want this(whatever that may be) you need this. This burning in your soul. This aching in your heart. This headache on your brain. It’s all the same. It’s the desire of who YOU are. Put inside of you by a very powerful Man for a very distinct reason. Now it is up to you to go against this CraZy world and do what you feel.

 When? When you ask? As Soon As Possible. If you don't think it is possible in the near future, make it possible. Feng shui your life enough to at least start breathing again. Your letting the world and all its stupid rules suffocate you. Once you start breathing properly you may actually be able to throw off those fugly glasses the world made you wear and see clearly!

Anyways, enough about you...back to me and my label issue. wheerrre was I? ahah! (ahem) A word to you and your clan of haters who think I am crazy. "your crazy". yep, i think you are the noun definition of crazy. look it up.. or just scroll up a little bit >i typed it all out for your viewing pleasure. for you to pick apart with your crazy eyes and think about in your crazy minds. crazy crazy crazy! oh you think i've said crazy too much? well try hearing it as feedback from almost everyone you tell your plans for your life to. try being called a mentally deranged person more than a responsible young adult. tryyyy ittt!  no? alright you don't have to, i know your scared. and thats okay.... i guess.

 the bottom line is

theres something out there left to wander

it will pop and it will fizz

which will make you start to ponder

who's that kid and what a whizz

how in the world? what a shocker

who knew h'ed be checking off the list

and skip the ones who waited longer

breathing time

. . . i am in shallow breathing mode. so that means that my thoughts are so heavy on my mind that they are weighing down my lungs yet my shoulders are struggling to keep them off my diaphragm so that i may slightly breathe. its 12:27 in the AM, i should be at work right now yet i got cut early and made less $$ than i should have so that i could be there for someone special in my life. even though i had no idea that i was going to be needed by this person, i was led to choose that certain section and pull those certain tables in order to be there at that certain time. i made less moolah yet i tipped the bartenders and food runners out more than usual, why? because when you make less you share more. thats just the rules of the road my friend. the road being life and the friend being you.

sharing and caring, thats what this short scribble from my mind is about. share more and care more people. good things come from both yet both are hard to do for most of us. it takes getting over yourself and your own selfishness to give to others what is 'rightfully yours'. you earned it! you did all the hard work! why should this bum get your generous donation of a dollar to buy a double cheeseburger at mickey deez? or why should you care that your friend is having a bad day. your day is friggin fabulous! you got a raise, someone hit on you that is actually slightly appealing to you, your boss gave you a high five..whatever made your day fabulous is worth more to you than the worries or hurts of this friend of yours that is temporarily down in the dumps. i say temporarily because your company or kind words can quickly get them out of the dumps and dancin' on the rooftops in no time. 

it doesn't take much. yet for some it takes too much.

for those that it takes too much to stop and become selfless for 30 seconds it is because they are caught up in this world full of chaos. they are actually adding to the chaos by creating the tornadoes that are tearing everything down because they're heads are spinning so fast they don't know where they are going or who they are running over in the process of their daily lives. slow dowwn! i happen to like these few trees down here in Tejas and that cool building with the ball on top is nice too, lets keep that. take a look around, slowly. stop spinning and just swivel (on your fancy little desk chair with the wheels) from one side to the other. look at who is around you, who is close to you. take a moment to care. take a moment to share. share with them your love, your thoughts, your money, or most of all: your time. time is is all we've got in this world. everyone has time, but it is up to them to put it to good use. not just for themselves but for everyone around them.

time is precious

time is kind

time is luscious

time to rewind

time makes me nauseous

time to find

a cure for this sickness

from time to time

amusing funnicdotes of the human race by the increment of 10

things that people do that are almost annoying yet i choose to laugh at them instead...

1. leaving a 2 dollar tip > 1 dollar - okay i get it, your cheap > 3 dollars - aight i can deal with that > 2 dollars? your not wholesomely cheap yet its gonna kill you to squeeze out one or two more bucks even though I refilled your beer an unfathomable amount of times, ordered and brought your smelly oysters to you, squeezed ketchup on your fries and brought water to the rest of your butthead friends to sit there and watch you eat? okay

2. a large group of people walking incredibly slow in the mall taking up the ENTIRE hallway so I cannot even just squeeze by, i must walk slow and become a part of their group until we reach an opening to get by but then hear them say 'geez someones in a hurry' << biznatch I ain't got all day!!

3. a loud, cocky know it all who is younger than you or the same age.. or just in general. 'nuff said

4. spel rong....... really? you graduated college and can't spell tomarrow? dang you stoopid ;)

5. when people (mom and dad, single moms, single dads, the babysitter, aunt frieda...whoever) come in to my restaurant and sit in my section on 'kids eat free' day and let their children run wild through the restaurant (climbing on the stairs and railings, standing on the chairs, they ask for a kids menu with crayons so they can 'color' yet they don't color, they break the crayons up in little tiny pieces and throw them under and around the table), want me to give them a regular cup instead of a kids cup with a lid because they think they are a big kid...and spill it when my section is full and we are getting our rush of the day, when the dad hands me the small one and walks away..then i carry it back to the table the way he handed it to me and he says 'you must not have any since your holding him that way' biatch i don't know where this kid had been except all over the floor i've walked on all day! i aint yo babysitter, shoot...since it is the special of the day, i have to find a manager through all this chaos to comp the 5 kids meals off, then when they get the check they are angered by having to pay for a side of .69cent ranch that doesn't come with the kids meals??? then leave me a big fat ZERO with a LINE through it and the letters Z-E-R-O next to it on the 'tip' line... mmmhmmm, i'll remember you family of 7, i'll remember you.

5 cont. even more then children running wildly is when a family comes in and the dad slaps his 10 yr old kid in the face when they ask if they can have a side of fries and the mother does nothing but stares blankly at me.... this actually bugs me to no end and i will never understand the fathers or mothers that abuse their children in public.

6. people repeating themselves. i heard ya the first time when i said 'okay i understand', no need to say it again and look at me like i was born yesterday. nope you dont need to remind me in 10 minutes. aand i dont need you to tell someone else to tell me. i got it. i am a fully functioning human and can take fact or instruction from you and process it through my brain and remember it, thanks

7. cat calling by sad men who have no life. dont whistle at me, no yelling, not even snapping or clapping. nope i dont want to go home with you tonight, i dont know the special tonight, i actually dont charge by the hour so dont ask me how much and if i did, surely YOU couldn't afford me. surprisingly enough i dont want to converse with to you and your buddies in your yard work truck at a stoplight. I am fully clothed at all times, i am not walking around in skanky clothing so why all the commotion? yes i have blonde hair and yes a sassy little walk but that does not mean i want to have sex with you and all your little friends...leave me alone forever and it will be a better and brighter world.

8. when people call me up and are already talking to someone else. um excuse me? i dont want to sit on the phone and listen to their conversation to someone who is apparently hard of hearing. then they call back all mad that i hung up on them saying im inconsiderate.. haHA! your a funny one phonemeister. 

8 cont. when i get a call from an unknown or random number and they don't leave a message. i dont know who you are... i have too many ex-boyfriends and crazy mom's i'm trying to avoid, so if you could please leave a message to identify yourself that would be greatly appreciated *beeeeeeep*

9. people that think they are funny but really, really aren't. move over kat williams and dane cook, we got a live one here! ya know the kid who has all the jokes, and then some. well its the then some we could do without. stop talking, your not funny.

10. police and their power trips. so it is the middle of the day, broad daylight. is that cop car sound in my music playing right now or (look back to see lights flashing) shooooot its the popo! so i pull over just to have him come over to the passenger window and tell me to move because its restricting traffic, finally he approaches me and says the infamous(in a thick hick accent) "ma'am did you know how fast you were going?"  umm i dunno the speed limit thats posted? you pulled me over why you askin me?  "you were going 33 in a 25, thats eight over the speed limit" oh dayum im so sorry, i definitely deserve a ticket ..not the sketchy teenagers over there gettin weed from a black suburban... and could you hurry it up with scanning my license and registration? i got ish to do unlike you people...."ma'am im gonna give you a warning" oh wow so you  just gave me half a heart attack and used up 45 minutes of my time for this? okay thank you very much now go catch a criminal, congratulations. 

here's to 2011.

eXpectations of the Human Being

this morning I was not feelin' my P90X workout >Legs &Back< edition. mostly because I was sore from yesterday's Yoga X and completely exhausted from working for 10 hours last night at a nonstop busy restaurant.... a month ago when I started the journey of the X I expected to complete the workout specified for that day of the week without hesitation. yet this morning, i hesitated. I sat there in front of the little TV in my workout gear trying to come up with one terrific excuse why i shouldn't push play. sure, i came up with a lot of GOOD excuses but not a terrific one. So i got myself as pumped up as Tony is all the dang time and completed over 120 pull ups, 25 different leg exercises ranging from wall sits to calf lunges and a bonus ab ripper x workout and guess what? i feel TERRIFIC! a little light headed but thats nothing some 'very cherry' yogurt won't fix...

we need more people like me in this world....  yeah i said it! like me. too many individuals go through their days expecting less of themselves than they should. then when they fail to meet their self put expectations that makes them even more of a wuss. they come up with way too many GOOD excuses that cloud their vision of their one true desire, dream or goal. whether that desire is to have a rockin' body or that dream is to own their own art studio or their goal is to simply get through the day without losing hope. whatever it is, set it higher. push yourself beyond your limits you have set for yourself. 

"Limits? Mandy, I have no limits, I can touch the sky higher than you can" 

okay hot shot then why aren't you? i see you.
i'm already reaching for the sky, not just claiming that i can. well actually I'm claiming I can too but the point is we need more challenge in this world, challenge from ourselves to ourselves. challenge yourself to exceed your ordinary goals and to meet your extraordinary desires. there is nothing wrong with that, let me say that again: there is nothing wrong with that! nothing weird, nothing irresponsible, nothing naive, nothing stupid, nothing crazy, nothing ignorant, etc. about challenging yourself to exceed your goals, desires, dreams or whatever you may have. my question to you hesitaters is 'what is the point of having any type of goal if  you don't reach it in order to create another stinkin' one?'
i would like an answer if you can think of a GOOD one... :)

challenge me today

challenge me tomorrow

forever i will stay

never will i borrow

the strength i use to say

yours is the sorrow

of that long day

lost cuz you are bizzaro

Family Affairs

oooooohhh Christmas time...the Holidays...this time of year...when our dear Savior was born >wait a minute wasn't Jesus Christ born in the Spring?< eh I'll get back to that issue later. For now I want to address the issue of family get togethers. How is this an issue? In some families it isn't, to the rest of the world it is. A lot of individuals don't even have any family left to become fat and happy with, lucky them. Some sort of alcohol is usually involved(because thats the only way to get through these gatherings in a sane demeanor). We know that isn't sparkling apple cider Aunt Peggy and Grandma we know that eggnogg ain't that good, it must be spiked. I have celebrated this past Thanksgiving and Christmas up in Oklahoma with my Boyfriend's family. I was very anxious considering I hadn't attended a big family celebration of the Holidays for over 5 years and the ones prior did not turn out very well...

Drama is all I have to say. Drama happens when you get a bunch of people who are related to each other by blood and marriage. Mother brother sister cousin nephew father aunt uncle niece uncle don't forget grandma grandpa and Great Grandparents if your fortunate. Opinions, negotiation and arguments sprout up all over the place...usually somewhere after the big meal and the awkward hellos. In my case, drama is the cause of my entire family being split apart for, lets see... 7 years now. Because where there is an issue, there are sides that need to be chosen, unfortunately everyone else chose one side(aunt uncle grandma grandpa sister cousin) and I was forced to choose the other side along with the drama and her 2nd husband.   

ehh tough break. life goes on. yet something I always wondered was how my life would have been if i had a close knit family and I was really good friends with my cousins and knew all my aunts and uncles. would  i have been able to move halfway across the country on my own to start a new life? would I have been so opinionated about 'living life to the fullest'? or would i have been content working 9 to 5 as long as i was close to home or would i have settled for the a$$hole boyfriend I met while at college who didnt treat me right but had a close knit family....

im so thankful for the holiday drama in my family, otherwise I wouldn't have been where I am now.

i'm independent, not so wise.

others say its quite a disguise

I used to long for the latter

now I'm yearning for the better

yesterday has never been gone

so tomorrow wont ever be long

wait a while, you'll see the future

dont wait too long, you'll be a loser

power trips and the simple words of life

Something I don't understand is why special requests made by you and me are completely ignored by those people. Are they 'just having a bad day' or tripping hard over some power they just encountered? Do they not like my hair or what about the style of my clothes? Maybe they just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and they'll be better tomorrow. Well whatever it is, I'm sick of it. I'm encountering them today, not tomorrow. Today should be the happiest day of their life because they get to deal with me. It shouldn't be the worst day of my life because I have to deal with them and their power trip.

If I want paper bags for my groceries, give me all paper bags and not just one for the bag of chips while you put the milk and gatorade (and every other heavy grocery item) in the next 3 plastic bags. No (general manager of tanning salon) I do not want to buy the latest and greatest tanning lotion for my tanning package that you overpriced me on anyways. I understand there is a trainee standing next to you every time I come it but you must pay to use me as a guinea pig for training your new employees. If I request to have Sunday morning off, with a legit reason, every time the schedule request comes out since I had started working for your fine establishment(manager of workplace) then why do you never fail to schedule me for the Sunday morning shift and forget to schedule me the rest of the week??

I guess its the simple things in life that are more commonly being overlooked. 

Simple things being the words "no" "yes" "please" and "thank you". 

When I say no, that doesn't mean 'please overlook what I'm saying and think to yourself that I want to continue hearing your sales pitch'. 

When I say yes, that means 'don't assume that I am another tree hugging hippie that is okay with my plastic bags stretching and spilling my groceries out for everyone to see so that I can save a tree'. 

If I say please, that means I am politely asking you to schedule me on any other of the 13 shifts during the week than Sunday morning. 

There are over 40 employees to choose from that requested that day TO work, give them a chance for once will ya?

 and through all of this, If I don't say thank you then I am considered a rude and selfish individual. young and inconsiderate to all, rampaging through life with no direction.

if I don't thank these people for the sacrifices they have made and the troubles they have endured to get to where they are now then I am the one in the wrong. even though they have just ignored every polite request I have just made to them, and have gone through the trouble of ignoring their rude actions to stay civil in this uncivilized situation. 

even though they are wrong and i am right 

i am young and they are old

it is to early to win this fight

they can't just sit there and be told

just whose wrong and just whose right

its seems this statement tis too bold

so will continue this ageless fight.